Personal reflections: I feel like I’m in a moment of limbo…

brighton england uk
I feel like I’m in a moment of limbo. Going being two worlds, unsure of what lies ahead for me. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like this, but I guess this is the best time to reflect on what makes me happy and somehow brainstorm ideas for the inevitable question of, “what’s next?”.

Several months ago, I moved back from Europe from my year-long adventure/Master’s degree schooling over in the UK. Through this experience, I got to meet life-long friends from around the world, learn from some great professors, and make my way around Europe and North Africa. It was a bit of a dream world I was living in for that year, and I often do reminisce about my life in Brighton and my room with a view of the beach.

Prior to that, I was working in Los Angeles for a few years. While I was there, I just felt like I needed a change and one thing led to another, one application was sent, an acceptance received, and somehow I found myself moving years of belongings from LA back to my mom’s house in the San Francisco Bay Area and packing up two suitcases that I would take to move 5000+ miles away for a year. I’ve never been happier about a decision I’ve made and even when it’s been harder than expected to find a job, I do not regret it one bit.

Yes, it’s hard being in this current moment.

Ever since my first study abroad program back in 2005 where I got the chance to go to London, Brussels, Amsterdam and Paris to study and to go all over Europe backpacking for my first international trip abroad alone, I’ve been addicted. I remember all the emotions going into that trip and how I fell in love with Europe that first day I was in London. I’ve since gone back to Europe 5 times. After that, week after month after year, I’ve been traveling quite extensively while enjoying the comforts of a full time job. In the years after I graduated from undergrad, I visited tons of cities in the US on long weekends (and red eye flights returning to go straight to work), and got the chance to orchestrate great long trips abroad to South America, Europe, Asia, Oceania, etc. etc. Travel was my priority and I was making it happen.

These days, I’ve returned to living back at home in the San Francisco Bay Area and boy am I restless! I’ve been enjoying this life and the comforts of home and the proximity to a city I’ve really grown to love, San Francisco. I’ve gotten involved in a ton of volunteering and great organizations where I’m getting to make meaningful impact, but it’s been so hard not being able to book flights because of lack of funds! I feel like a part of me is missing. Through my travel blogging, I’ve gotten the chance to read so many amazing blogs of people that are doing all kinds of amazing things all over the world, and although I do get jealous, for the moment it is helping me to figure what I will do next.

What’s helping me get through it is knowing that this isn’t forever, and soon I’ll be able to travel again. Plus, I haven’t really lived in the San Francisco Bay Area since high school, so it really has been a fun adventure. I’ve put together a bucket list for the area so I can make sure I make the best of my current locale! The months back here have been flying by which is a good thing, but it does seem like forever since I’ve been abroad (which officially is 3 months when I went back for graduation in the UK, plus traveled to Iceland, Albania and Kosovo). Just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life!

Not all that wander are lost…but perhaps I am wandering and I am lost. But well, maybe that’s okay for now!

Patience, Victoria. Good things come to those who wait. 🙂

x, Victoria

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2 comments

  1. This was a great read. I’m going through the same thing right now, trying to figure out how to be able to travel more. Wanderlust can be really frustrating! I hope you get everything figured out!

    1. Hi Maggie! Thanks for stopping by my site! If I learned one thing this year, it’d definitely be to stay positive and patient. I thankfully, got the chance to travel to Asia recently, so that helped the wanderlust a bit (a bit too short), but I still would love to go live abroad again. So many decisions that would be so easily solved if I happened to win the lottery (it would help if I’d actually buy lottery tickets!). Best of luck with everything and I look forward to reading more on your site! 🙂 -Victoria

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